The Big Canadian Moose

One  company I used to work for used to send us up to Canada quite a bit. One day I happened to be on a two lane road somewhere way up north. I was way out in the middle of nowhere. I hadn't seen another vehicle for several hours. All of a sudden, I see a moose standing in the road ahead of me! Well, I had plenty of time to stop because visibility was clear for miles and nobody was around anyway. I had never seen a moose before and I was very excited! I put my hazzard lights on and eased my truck down to a crawl so that I wouldn't frighten him away, just so I could get a good look at him. As I stopped I realized how huge he was! He was looking at me eye to eye as I sat in my truck! And his antlers were as big as my windsheild!  And he wasn't even scared. He stared me down as if to say this road was his territory. Well, I wasn't too scared myself because I felt safe in my truck. So, I looked at him in awe while I waited for him to move. He never took his eyes off of me. It was a staring contest for about a minute or two. I thought it was great that nature offered me this close up view of one of her biggest and strongest creations.

After about three minutes I started getting worried that a car might come along and rear-end me, so I decided that it was time to move on. I pulled my truck up to the moose slowly, as if to say "excuse me". I pulled within a foot of him, but he didn't move! Then, I pulled up another foot and I touched him. He just made a slight grunt and stepped back one step and continued to stare at me! I pulled up another foot and touched him again and he still wouldn't move! I put my hand on my airhorn and thought about blasting his ass! I laughed at the thought of him jumping way up in the air and running away, sceaming, finally meeting his match. But I decided not to do that because I thought that would be cruel. So I pulled up another foot and bumped him again. Once again, he just stepped back another foot and stood there!

I was really begining to loose my patience. I put my hand on my airhorn again and thought to myself "I hate to do this to you" and I let one rip! A nice long one too. He jumped alright! He jumped backward about ten feet and then he jumped forward! He crashed my grill and his antlers went right through my radiator! I saw a dozen pieces of my grill go flying in a dozen directions. He jumped back and forth about five more times very quickly and each time he lunged forward, he hit my truck, sending chunks of plastic and fiberglass flying. Each time he hit my truck, it felt like another truck ramming into me! I popped the clutch and took off to save my life! He finally jumped to the side and he even hit the side of my truck as I went by.

I later learned that when a moose is declaring his territory, especially to another buck, or even fighting, he will let out a sound that sounds very much like an airhorn on a truck!

I have heard the above story on several occasions, told to me by several different people who don't even know each other. That's why I consider this story an urban legend. But I also believe it is entirely possible that somewhere up in Canada, there lives a huge moose with a road running through his territory. And any passerby has to survive his rath.

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2. Prevent Traffic Jams
3. Stay Calm
4. Do The Math
5. Be Predictable
6. Time Traffic Lights
7. Expect the Expected
8. Compensate for the Ignorant
9. Teach Others
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